What is Weighing You Down

If you’re like me, you hit the ground running with your goals and dreams for the coming year. You might also be like me and didn’t consider unfinished business from 2023. Fortunately, one of my coaches brought this oversight to my attention. Thank you, Gary Montalvo. To have a successful future, you must leave the past behind.

Many things went really well in 2023, but there are some things that I didn’t do well that are still haunting me. If my energy is spent thinking about what I could have done better, I don’t have the power to move forward with my goals. Here are some tips from Gary Montalvo to help you move forward.  

Completing the Past

Consider the areas of vocation, relationships, health and well-being, and time and money freedom. What failures, disappointments, or broken promises do you have? Write them all down so you can work with them. I use a process called “the pruning shears of revision.” Take each of these individually and rewrite the ending so that you can remember it as a positive event. Life is an experiment, and you can use these events in ways that didn’t work but led to growth.

Next questions. What resentments do you have? Are there situations that you are blaming someone else for? Are you ready to let go of those resentments? If not, what work do you need to do to gain closure? Here is an excellent exercise from my mentor, Mary Morrissey, for working through resentments:

Wish the Other Person Well

Wish the person well in your mind, no matter how you feel about them!

No matter what, you’re continuing to learn from the experience; send out a wave of good wishes toward that person today, regardless of how you may feel about them right now and even if you hope to never see them again.

This may feel difficult and disingenuous at first, especially if the pain from the relationship, situation, or experience has been with you for a very long time.

But I encourage you to repeatedly go ahead and send out that wave of good vibes, and in time, you’ll be surprised that you harbor no more ill will and genuinely wish the person well.

 Finally, what regrets do you have? Was there something you did or didn’t do where you wish you could have a do-over? Can you give up those regrets? Is there still an opportunity to do something you didn’t do? Many times, opportunities we missed are still available. And many things that have been done can be undone. Most people fear to change direction when they feel they have made a wrong decision. However, changing paths early in the game is more straightforward than waiting until you’re too deep.

It’s Not Just About the Negatives

Completing the past includes celebrating your successes. What accomplishments and breakthroughs did you have? Celebrate your wins. As you move through 2024, practice celebrating your wins daily or weekly. You will be surprised how much there is to celebrate.

What did you learn or discover in 2023? I discovered am much more productive if I no longer focus on my circumstances and conditions. Having a diagnosis of cancer can be a real downer, but when I focus on all the good in my life, there really are no limits to what I can achieve.

Who made the most significant impact for you in the last year? Tell them how they impacted your year by sending a note or inviting them for coffee. Acknowledging those who inspire us brings more inspiration into our lives.

I hope this brings brighter ideas for your future, and I would love to have further conversations with you about living your best life. Feel free to reach out for a casual conversation about your 2024